Every woman with whom I become serious usually ends up leaving me, saying they want to have a more open relationship and date others. Usually, when I’m content to spend my time with just them, they decide it is time to end the relationship. What should I do?

Left Behind

Dear Left Behind,

Chill out with some GAZPACHO!

Chilled Gazpacho

2 15oz. cans tomatoes, drained (reserve liquid) 1 red pepper

1/2 onion

5 cloves garlic

1 TBL parsley flakes

3 basil leaves

½ tsp. cumin

1 TBL cilantro

1 TBL lime juice

Chop all ingredients in food processor except for tomato juice and lime juice. Place in a large bowl and add tomato juice. Then chill in freezer. For serving, ladle into cups and sprinkle a few drops of lime juice.

Coarsely chopped, this can be used as a dip.

Chill in freezer. Then ladle into cups and add a few drops of lime juice before serving.

* * *

Now’s the time to enjoy dating a variety of people. When you find that special someone, and the relationship is good, she will not want to see anyone but you.

My neighbor is “high-strung,” and I try to maintain cordial relations with her and her husband. At times, she is overly friendly, and can tie me up, carrying on a conversation for hours. The rest of the time, she totally ignores me. I’m tired of dealing with her, but need to remain friendly, for the sake of the neighborly thing. Any suggestions?

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

Sounds like your neighbor is a PESTo.

David’s Basil Pesto

2 cloves of garlic

1 ½ TBL lightly toasted pine nuts

2 cups fresh basil leaves, loosely packed

¾ cup plus ½ tsp. extra virgin olive oil

½ cup Parmesan cheese, freshly grated

1 tsp. salt

½ tsp. freshly ground black pepper

Combine all the ingredients, except the ½ teaspoon olive oil, in a food processor and process until a puree forms, scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Transfer to an airtight container and pour the remaining ½ teaspoon of olive oil over the pesto, covering completely. Cover and refrigerate until needed.

The pesto will keep for several days, tightly covered, but will lose its bright green color after the first day.

* * *

You neighbor may have serious problems that you don’t know about. When you see her, smile, even if she’s in a bad mood. If she tries to engage you in conversation, keep it brief and excuse yourself. If she persists, tell you have an appointment or need to return a phone call. After a while, she may get the hint.

My best friend ran off with my boyfriend. What can I do? Should I follow them and try to get him back? Maybe all is lost, but I still have feelings for him. He said he still loves me.

Lost

Dear Lost,

Leaving you for your best friend was not a loving gesture. Leave them be. In time, everyone gets their JUST DESSERTS.

Aunt Evelyn’s Cherry Fudge Brownies

1 package Pillsbury’s Devil’s Food Cake Mix (must be Pillsbury’s)

1 21-oz. can Cherry Pie Filling

1 tsp almond flavoring

2 eggs, beaten

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine all ingredients into a medium-sized bowl. Mix together by hand. Pour into a greased jelly roll pan, and bake for 20 to 30 minutes.

Remove from oven. Cool and enjoy!

* * *

The end of a relationship is still a loss. Take time to heal and then move on.

I have a possessive girlfriend who tells everyone she’s THE girlfriend vs. A girlfriend. What should I do?

Playing the Field

Dear Playing,

Have you BEAN honest with your girlfriend?

Bean Sauce

1 onion, diced

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 red pepper, chopped

1 cup water

2 cans black beans with liquid

1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed

1 can corn with liquid

2 cans diced tomatoes

2 tsp cumin

1 tsp chili powder

1 TBL cilantro, chopped

2 TBL barbeque sauce

1 TBL red pepper flakes

In a large skillet, combine onion, garlic red pepper and water. Bring to a boil; then simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in remaining ingredients. Simmer 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Adjust seasonings to taste.

Serve over rice or in a tortilla. If you prefer soup, add 3 cups of vegetable broth to the mixture.

* * *

Does she know you are seeing other women? Or does she truly believe she is the one and only? Regardless, it’s time for the two of you to sit down and talk.

My closest “girlfriend” in our mid-life phase has a different circle of professional responsibilities and contacts from my own. As a result, she always asks me, the outsider to her career, to give her advice. In effect, she wants me to decide for her how she should handle the difficult people she works with. I am tired of dancing around politely and trying to dodge her request for advice.

Can I just tell her to grow up and handle her own work life?

Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

Absolutely! If you are uncomfortable with the situation, tell her so. Just do it in a nICE way.

ICEd Mocha

2 cups strong brewed coffee, chilled

½ tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1 TBL brown sugar

¾ cup low-fat milk

Crushed ice

Combine coffee, cocoa powder, brown sugar and milk in blender. Process well, and pour over crushed ice.

* * *

Tell her that you are there for her if she needs to vent. But she’ll have to figure out how to deal with these people on her own.

My girlfriend gets emotional when we discuss marriage. It seems that she is expecting more than I can give her at this time. She’s ready to tie the knot, but my clock is on a different time. How can I handle this so I don’t lose someone I really care for?

Lost

Dear Lost,

Don’t avoid the issue. CURRY up and have a talk with your girlfriend.

Curry Chicken Salad

1 whole skinless, boneless chicken breast, broiled and cut in cubes

2 TBL lite mayonnaise

2 TBL nonfat vanilla yogurt

1 medium apple, peeled and cut in cubes

¼ cup seedless red grapes, quartered

3 TBL red onion, diced

2 tsp apple juice

1 TBL fresh parsley, chopped

1 tsp curry powder

Salt and pepper to taste

Place chicken in a medium bowl. Add mayonnaise and yogurt; combine. Mix in remaining ingredients.

Serve on top of a bed of romaine or in a sandwich.

* * *

If you plan to marry her someday, it’s only fair that you give her an idea of when you might be ready. If marriage is not in your future, you really need to let her know.

My boyfriend is constantly watching or listening to sports. He’s a great guy, but trying to get his attention, even at dinner, is impossible. What can I do?

Hornswaggled

Dear Hornswaggled,

Sounds like you’re dealing with a real sports NUT.

Nutty Candy

1 ½ cups peanuts, almonds, or cashews

½ cup sugar

1 ½ TBL butter

½ tsp vanilla

Spray a foil-lined baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray.

In a heavy skillet, combine all ingredients. Cook over medium-high heat, shaking occasionally; do not stir. When sugar begins to melt, reduce heat. Stirring from time to time, cook til sugar is golden. Remove from heat, and pour onto baking sheet. Cool, then break candy into clusters.

Store in covered containers.

* * *

Tell him that while you can appreciate his love of sports, you would like to have some of his undivided attention. Set up specific sports-free dates. When you have the quality time together that you crave, you won’t mind the sports as much.

Confused

Dear Confused,

WOK away quickly.

Orange Beef Stir Fry

1 lb. sirloin steak
2 TBL canola oil
3 green onions, cut into 2″ lengths (separate greens from tops)
¼ cup stir fry sauce
1 can (11 oz.) mandarin orange segments

Cut beef across grain into thin slices, then into strips. Heat oil in wok or large frying pan over high heat. Add beef and stir-fry for 1 minute. Add white parts of green onions and stir-fry for 1 minute, then add tops and stir-fry 1 minute longer. Add sauce and orange segments and stir until heated.

***

This woman was dishonest with you from the start, and things are not going to get any better. If she cheated on her husband, she will surely do the same to you.

My friend is planning to sell her business and move 3,000 miles to marry a guy she met on a matrimonial web site. I tell her to “be careful!” This sounds wary to me, but she says I should try it. “No one is serving you happiness on a silver platter,” she tells me, “you have to compromise.” I don’t think this is true. Do you?

Friend

Dear Friend,

ORANGE JUICE glad you have a strong enough sense of self to follow your instincts.

Orange Blueberry Banana Smoothie

1 frozen banana (peeled and cut in chunks)
1 cup orange juice
½ cup blueberries
1 cup lite yogurt

Blend ingredients together.

* * *

It is okay if online dating is not for you. You can be supportive of your friend, while you continue to make choices that are comfortable for you.

Dear Bachelor,

Don’t let things continue to MUSHROOM out of control.

Stuffed Mushrooms

6 Portabella mushrooms
½ cup vegetable broth
½ cup onion, chopped
1 tsp olive oil
2 small tomatoes, chopped
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp oregano
½ cup seasoned bread crumbs
2 Tbl grated parmesan cheese
½ cup grated Mozzarella cheese

Remove stems from mushrooms, and set aside. In a large baking dish, place mushroom caps smooth side down. Pour broth over mushroom caps. Cover with foil, and bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes.

Chop mushroom stems, and combine with tomatoes and spices. Set aside. In a medium pan, saute onion and garlic in olive oil until tender. Add mushroom mixture, and cook an additional 5 minutes. Stir in bread crumbs and Parmesan cheese. Stuff mushrooms with mixture, then sprinkle with Mozzarella. Broil until cheese melts.

* * *

Give your ex- a reasonable amount of time to move out, and do whatever you can to help her find a new place to live.